When you learned you were pregnant with twins, triplets or quadruplets, you probably dreamed of your children being best friends and sharing everything in life.  Sharing can be a difficult skill for autistic children to develop, but there are lots of ways that you can help autistic twins to share, whether one or all of the children are autistic.

Autism and play

Play is an essential part of all children’s development. With autistic children, it might look different, but it doesn’t mean they are not having fun in their own way. We know that through play, children explore the world around them, develop social skills, and express themselves. While autistic children may prefer solitary play or engage in repetitive behaviors, it can still be a joyful and enriching experience for them.

Tips to encourage sharing

One of the best way that autistic children can learn is by copying what they see around them.  For example, you can take turns playing with a toy, or share a snack with your children.  Also be sure to offer lots of praise and reward your children when they share. This can be as simple as saying “Great job sharing!” or offering a small reward or privilege for sharing.

Another positive way to help autistic twins to share is to create opportunities for turn-taking.  An easy way to do this is playing catch or even rolling a ball back and forth on the floor between players. Many board and card games require turn-taking where you can practice sharing skills. Start with shorter turns and gradually increase the length of turns over time.

You may also find that your child does better with some element of control over the sharing – by giving your children choices it can help them feel more in control and increase their willingness to share. For example, you can ask them which toy they want to share first, or give them a choice of activities to do together.

Sometimes it may be necessary to have more than one toy, if it is well loved by everyone.  Obviously this can be difficult with large or expensive items such as televisions or tablets, but if it makes sense to have more than one of a much loved toy, do it.  You can often find gently used toys for good prices on Facebook marketplace or children’s consignment stores/thrift stores. 

You can also use visual supports to help your children understand the concept of sharing. Create a visual schedule that shows when each child gets to play with a specific toy, or use a visual cue like a timer to indicate when it’s time to switch toys. Remember that sharing is a social and learned behaviour, so it might be difficult for your autistic twins at first. But keep practicing, remain positive and you just might get there in the end.

What is sharing like in your house?  Share your best tips and techniques below.

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