One of the hardest decisions you might have to make as a parent of autistic twins, triplets or more is whether to keep them together in the same classroom, or even the same school.
When you found out you were having multiples, you probably imagined all of the things your children would do together – going to school, driving a car, graduating, etc. Treating your children as individuals is so important, but perhaps even more some when one or all of them are autistic. And sometimes that means they will not be in the same classroom, but will depend on a variety of factors such as their individual needs, abilities, and preferences, as well as the resources and support available at the school. Recent studies have shown that keeping twins together in the same classroom generally results in positive behaviors and outcomes for twins.
Keeping them together
Sometimes there is a benefit in keeping your children together in the same classroom. They can provide each other with emotional support and social interaction, and they may have similar learning styles and communication needs. The school may be able to better address these needs in a shared environment. By keeping them together, you can promote comfort and security. Some twins actually benefit by being together and can act as a natural support and inspiration (and maybe healthy competition) for the other.
From a logistic perspective, it can be easier dealing with just one teacher instead of multiple for communication, meetings or school activities. Being together can also maintain a consistent routine, which is very helpful for autistic children.
Keeping them apart
On the other hand, some children may require individual attention and support, and may benefit from being in separate classrooms where they can receive more one-on-one instruction and tailored interventions.
When not all of the children are autistic, there are certain challenges which may present themselves as well. For example, a non-autistic child may be asked to support or watch their autistic sibling in a shared classroom, which sounds nice but may cause the non-autistic child to miss out on their own learning and social developmental needs. It might also be difficult for the non-autistic sibling to deal with the stress of seeing their autistic sibling struggling in the classroom.
You may find that your autistic child is not only in a different classroom, but in a different school altogether. As hard as this may be, focusing on what each child needs may be best. Ultimately, the decision should be based on the unique needs and abilities of each child, as well as the resources and support available at the school.
What has your experience been like? Did you separate your autistic twins or keep them together? Share your experiences in the comments below.
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My twins are both autistic but they have done well in separate classrooms. They stayed together through 1st grade and for grade two the school suggested separating them. I was quite hesitant at first, but agreed on the condition that they could be put back together if it wasn’t working out. It ended up working out well. Both girls made more friends rather than just playing with each other. They both really liked their teacher and benefit from having a different sort of teacher (one twin does well with a very warm and flexible teacher, while the other needs a teacher who is a bit more firm/direct). They both have different strengths and challenges too, so they do well when they’re not directly comparing themselves to each other at school. Even when they go to their neurodiversity affirming day program two days per week, they separate the girls for their academic portion to avoid them comparing themselves to each other leading to frustration and dysregulation. I think every situation is diferent, though and parents know what is best for their twins. I know some schools are very strict about separating twins and to me that makes NO sense. Some twins are very dependent on each other emotionally. Why add more stress to school by separating them?