It’s important for parents of autistic twins to get out and have a break. After having twins, triplets or quadruplets it can seem that you will never have time to yourself again. I promise, you will! But how do you go about finding someone you can trust to look after your children?

Where to find a babysitter

You might start off by asking immediate family or friends. Do you have parents, siblings or friends nearby who might be willing to watch the twins for you? In this situation, they already know your family and may have relationships with your children. This can make it easier when going out for the first time!

In our case, family were very reluctant to watch the triplets so sometimes they would offer to keep one or two of them. That meant we had to find other arrangements for the others – this might be something that works for you. Friends or family might have sitters they have used in the past and could recommend for you.

If you don’t have any family, next you can try asking at school or at any therapies your children attend. Many times there are teachers or therapists who only work part time and are looking for a few more hours. You can also try reaching out to an education or specialist education department at a university near you. They may require students to spend time with children as a part of their degree or certification program. With my son, we’ve used sitters from his school. It worked really well for us because they already knew him and also had the same school break schedule as he did.

There are also online sites where you can find help. Usually these sites allow you to filter by things like age, years of experience, distance from your home, experience with autism, and so on. The USA has sites such as Care.com, UrbanSitter and SitterCity. In Canada, you can try Sitly and in the UK you can try Childcare.co.uk, Sitters.co.uk, BabySits. We live in the UK now, but when I was living in the US I used online sites to find the first two sitters for the triplets. They were both wonderful and loved working with our family, so I recommend giving it a try if you haven’t already.

What to look for in a babysitter

Does a babysitter need to have experience with autistic triplets or twins? That is up to your family. If you have twins plus other children, do you need to consider having more than one babysitter? These are all things you will need to think about and discuss with your potential sitter.

Of course you will want to find a babysitter that is patient, kind and friendly. Do they have the same approach to parenting as you do? Someone who is creative and likes to get hands on with children playing games, doing art or watching movies? If your twins or triplets have particular interests, you can mention this during an interview or conversations with the babysitter. We made sure to hire someone who had worked with autistic children before, but it is up to you whether this is needed or not.

It’s important to have good reference checks. If you are using someone that was referred to you, this might be easier. Online sites should also offer reviews or rating systems. Ask for references from families that the sitter has worked with in the last 12 months. You can ask questions about what they thought, what their children thought, and if they would work with them again.

You want to be sure the person you hire is a good communicator. Do they get back in touch when they said they would? How soon do they respond to calls or text messages?

Depending on the needs of your family, you may need to hire someone with special training or qualifications. For example, you might need to hire someone with certain medication experience or has worked with specialist medical equipment before. These should all be discussed up front, as this might affect how much the sitter charges you.

What to pay a babysitter

This will depend on your local area. You should also find out if the sitter charges per hour, per child or something else. Some online sites list the amount that sitters charge upfront. You should also ask about any additional charges, such as staying past a certain time.

Getting ready for your first night out

Do a meet and greet before hand. It’s good if the twins have a chance to meet a new person before being alone with them, so that they can have time to get used to the idea. You can also use a template such as our All About Me download to share information with the babysitter.

Be very clear on your expectations of what you want or expect. If there are not clear expectations, there is room for interpretation and this might not be what you want. What are your thoughts about snacks, screen time, bedtime, etc?

Give a house tour – if there are certain areas of the house that are off limits for either the babysitter or the children, let them know. The twins will probably do a good job of giving a tour themselves if they are old enough. Also let the sitter know if there are certain places in the house that the twins really like or really don’t like.

If your twins or triplets aren’t used to being left alone, try leaving some of their favourite foods to make the time go faster. Ask the sitter if they have any dietary requirements if you plan on ordering a pizza, for example. Using a visual timetable or social stories might make it easier for your twins to understand how long you will be gone and what will happen during that time.

You’ll want to leave your contact information, but leave a back up too just in case you can’t be reached for some reason. If you feel comfortable, you could also leave a family member or neighbor’s contact details if the sitter needs some help quickly.

Have you hired a babysitter for your autistic twins, triplets or quads? Share your thoughts and comments below.

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